Fitting In Abroad: Greetings, Meals, Tipping and More

Nobody expects a visitor to behave exactly like a local, and most people are generous with travelers who make an honest effort. Still, small missteps can cause awkward moments: a tip that comes across as an insult, a casual outfit at a religious site, or a loud phone call in a silent train carriage. Customs vary enormously, but they tend to cluster around the same everyday situations. Thinking through each one before a trip, with a few real examples of how practices differ, goes a long way toward fitting in and showing respect.

Before you go: a little homework

Ten minutes of reading pays off. Official tourism websites, government travel advice pages and good guidebooks usually include a section on etiquette. Learning a handful of words in the local language, such as hello, please, thank you, excuse me and sorry, is the single most appreciated effort a visitor can make, even if your pronunciation is imperfect. Translation apps help with menus and signs, but opening a conversation with a greeting in the local language sets a warmer tone than leading with a phone screen.

Greetings

The first moments of an encounter are where customs differ most visibly.

France: saying "bonjour" when entering a small shop, and "au revoir" when leaving, is expected. Skipping it can come across as rude, and shop staff may be noticeably cooler as a result.
Japan: a bow is the traditional greeting. Visitors are not expected to master the many forms, and a small nod of the head is usually appreciated. Many Japanese people will offer a handshake to foreigners.
Thailand: the wai, palms pressed together near the chest with a slight bow, is used as a greeting and thank you. It is not expected toward service staff such as waiters, but returning one that is offered to you is polite.
Middle East and parts of South Asia: in more conservative settings, some people do not shake hands with the opposite sex. Waiting to see whether a hand is offered is the safest approach.
Southern Europe and Latin America: cheek kisses between friends and new acquaintances are common, though the number varies by country and region. Following the other person's lead works well.

Meals and dining

Table manners reveal more cultural differences than almost any other situation.

Chopsticks: in Japan and China, never stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice, because it resembles incense offerings at funerals. Passing food directly from one pair of chopsticks to another is also avoided in Japan for similar reasons.
Slurping: in Japan, slurping noodles is normal and can signal enjoyment, while in much of Europe it would be considered impolite.
Using the right hand: in parts of India, the Middle East and Africa, the left hand is traditionally associated with hygiene, so eating and passing food are done with the right hand.
Pace: meals in Spain, Italy and France are often long and unhurried, and dinner may start late, especially in Spain, where 9 or 10 p.m. is common. Waiters may not bring the bill until you ask for it, which is a courtesy rather than slow service.
Finishing your plate: in some cultures, an empty plate signals you enjoyed the food. In parts of China, leaving a little can signal that the host provided plenty.

Tipping

Tipping is one of the most confusing areas for travelers because expectations range from essential to unwelcome.

United States and Canada: tips for restaurant service are expected and form a large part of servers' income. Fifteen to twenty percent of the bill is a common range.
Japan: tipping is generally not practiced and can cause confusion. Excellent service is considered part of the job.
Much of Europe: service is often included or wages are higher, and leaving a small amount or rounding up is a common way to say thank you rather than an obligation. Check whether a service charge already appears on the bill.
Elsewhere: customs vary, so a quick check of local guidance before arriving saves second-guessing.

Dress

Clothing choices matter most at religious and formal sites. Many churches, mosques and temples ask visitors to cover shoulders and knees, and some mosques ask women to cover their hair, often providing scarves or wraps at the entrance. Shoes are removed before entering homes in Japan and many other Asian countries, as well as in temples and mosques, so socks without holes and easy-to-remove shoes are practical. Beachwear is generally for the beach. In many Mediterranean towns, walking through the town center in swimwear is frowned upon, and some places have introduced fines for it.

Public transport and public spaces

In Japan, phone calls on trains are considered impolite, and conversations are kept quiet. Eating while walking is also less common there. In many countries, people stand on one side of escalators so others can walk past, though which side varies, so follow those around you. Queuing is taken seriously in the United Kingdom, and pushing ahead is a sure way to draw disapproving looks.

Photography

Always ask before photographing people, especially in rural areas, at markets and during religious ceremonies. Some sites prohibit photography inside, and some communities have specific beliefs about images. In Kyoto's Gion district, local authorities have restricted access to some private streets, partly because of tourists photographing geiko and maiko without permission. A smile and a gesture toward the camera is usually enough to ask, and accepting a no gracefully is part of being a good guest.

Gestures and body language

Gestures that seem harmless at home can mean something different elsewhere. A thumbs up is offensive in some parts of the Middle East and West Africa. The "OK" hand sign has negative meanings in some countries, including Brazil and Turkey. In Thailand and other parts of Southeast Asia, the head is considered sacred, so touching someone's head, even a child's, is avoided, and pointing your feet at people or religious images is considered disrespectful.

Conversation topics

In many countries, discussing salaries, politics or religion with people you have just met can be uncomfortable. Comparing a country unfavorably with your own, or making jokes about national stereotypes, rarely goes down well. Asking people about their favorite local food, places to visit or traditions is a much better route to friendly conversation.

Bargaining

Haggling is expected in many markets, such as souks in Morocco and markets in parts of Southeast Asia, but not in shops with fixed prices. When bargaining, keep it friendly, have a price in mind, and only start negotiating if you intend to buy. Walking away politely is fine, but agreeing on a price and then refusing to pay is not.

When you get it wrong

Every traveler makes mistakes. A sincere apology, a smile and a willingness to learn usually smooth things over. Watching what locals do, and asking politely when unsure, are the most reliable guides of all.